O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
