I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
