You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just pee around me
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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