Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
