i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
