me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize