The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
