you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
