sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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