Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just had sex on a roof
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
