Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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