ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
