therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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