I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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