This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
