Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
