Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
