I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
whose ass print is on the piano?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
