question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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