just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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