I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
