closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
