I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize