No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
