I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
