No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize