dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
