every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
