Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
