ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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