if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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