But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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