her vagine was all disorganized.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
