All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
