Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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