You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
