From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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