so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
