Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
