I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
pop tarts are not kleenex
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
