I molested 6 butterflies tonight
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
