he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
