please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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