do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
