You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
