Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
