All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
