You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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