And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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