How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize
