Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
