Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
