I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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