nut hugger
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
