How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize