i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
