Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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