Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
