Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
