So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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