He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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