He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
