yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
