She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
