Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Who died my cat blue again?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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