a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
