i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Randomize