i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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