But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
