did you get engaged???
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
