hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just cropdusted the office
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
